Sunday, December 11, 2011

9 months of learning

Its been 9 months since I showed up at Haileys house with Kennedy looking like this
Its been 9 months to the day since these pictures were taken
9 months since I started my life over
9 months since I began to heal and learn

In these 9 months my life has changed immensely
I have grown
I have learned who I really am and what I really want out of life.
I have had so many changes
I have lost 45 lbs
I started exercising and going to the gym
I have realized how completely blessed I am and what an amazing support system I have

I have learned where my limits are in life and that I have no limits!
Every day has been such an experience
I take nothing for granted anymore

I have learned a lot about family
My family is amazing and I have really learned to appreciate them and make sure they stay in my life regardless of what someone else thinks
They have been there for me no matter what
They make me laugh
They love me
I have learned family is something in life you will always have and always need to keep

I have learned what incredible friends I have
A true friend loves you when you are at your worst
I have learned that I have a lot of true friends!!!
They have emotionally supported me in ways I could never imagine

I have learned that I am a pretty open person
Most people wouldnt share these pictures
Most people would be ashamed
Im not
I have learned I am an open book and that's just who I am
Thats who I like to be
That is what feels right to me
You never know who your life experiences will help
I have learned to express my love and feelings to everyone so much more
I dont hide what I feel

I have learned a lot about people
 I have learned to surround myself with those who accept me for who I am
I am not perfect
I have learned to embrace my imperfections
I have learned to start to love myself

I have learned not to compromise myself, my feelings or my thoughts for anyone else ever again
To stay true to me
and to my heart

I appreciate Kennedy so much more
I see what an example I need to set for her in life
I have learned how blessed I am to have such a sweet loving daughter who is too old for her own age

The last 9 months have came with a lot of ups and downs
Love, fear, hurt, anger, laughs, comfort, insecurities
But I wouldnt trade it for the world
I wouldnt be where I am today or who I am today with out them
I wouldnt realize how absolutely blessed I am
I wouldnt appreciate the incredible people in my life like I do
I wouldnt have made the new friends I have
I wouldnt have the outlook I do

I wouldnt realize the love in life there is from those you surround yourself with
So to everyone who has loved me
Thank you

Thank you for blessing my life and showing me whats really out there in this world and in myself

9 comments:

The Triplett Family said...

Good for you! You are a strong beautiful woman and a great mommy to that sweet little girl.

Stephanie said...

I hope it doesn't sound condescending to say that I'm wildly proud of you for so openly sharing your experience. What a wonderful example of how to carry on, rebuild and thrive. Thank you, thank you for speaking out.

Rikell-n-Natalie said...

WOW! Jess, I had no idea the severity of what happened. You are a very strong person and What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Love ya tonz!

chris barton said...

You are such a wonderful tender "Golden" person. You are a wonderful example to women everywhere and I know how hard it has been for you but you are doing fantastic and will continue to. You are becoming the whole person now with wisdom and comapssion. Your dad and I just keep saying WOW what a woman! We love you and are beyond happy to have you safe and incorporated back with our family. Yes you can have balance in life! You go girl!

Sue said...

Jess-it's been wonderful to see you change your life, to see you become a strong,healthy,happy woman.Your family(and extended family) have been and always will be there for you. Continue to surround yourself with good people and continue to strive for all good things in life. It's so GOOD to see the happiness in your eyes, see you smiling and enjoying life. Bravo to Jessica!!

Joni said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I really admire the positive way you have handled it and how you have focused on the good and on moving forward in a positive direction. You are amazing and beautiful!

Vindictive Violet said...

Jess...From a woman who has been there and done that! My heart soars to see you posting this! You are an inspiration to other women who have been in this situation. Your support system is also a huge inspiration to show others how to love unconditionally. May you take this stepping stone in your life and continue to share,learn,love & teach from it. Keep your head high! -Rebecca Esplin

Kaylyn said...

Damn Jess. It's been a long time since I've been to your blog, to anyone's really, and I am just combing through your archives from the past few months. When I saw these pictures, I literally had tears in my eyes. I am so sorry that you had to go through that, and I just wish I could hug you. I think it is amazing how brave you are, and I want you to know that I admire your strength.

I'm glad that things are going good for you!

Michelle said...

Oh my jess! I had no idea..you are such a kind, brave, and amazing person! I am so glad you got out and have made you and kennedys life better and safer!