Mourning
A lot of people don't understand...
I am currently grieving for the loss of my marriage and my husband.. and my life as I knew it. Yes he hit me. Yes I know its wrong. No I am not justifying it. But being hit doesn't wipe the slate clean on your heart and mind. It doesn't get rid of the emotions, the concern, the happy memories. Its a hard thing that in 5 minutes your marriage, your husband, his career and your entire way of life is dissolved. Not only now am I living at my parents house. Joe might lose his job, his career. His financial income to support Kennedy. To give her a place to live. To take her out to get ice cream. To be able to drive her places. I've lost my husband. My home. My marriage. My daily routine..
Its different grieving over something and someone who are still alive.In some sense it makes it harder. You still see the people. You still interact. You see them hurting. Its almost worse than never seeing them again. But grieving and mourning really are the only appropriate terms for it. Its a loss. Its a hard loss. No matter what state our marriage was in, how happy or unhappy it was.. to have it taken away instantly and your entire universe flipped upside down really is a death in some ways. A new beginning is born.. but a death still the same.
I have been trying to enjoy life still. Trying to do things that keep me busy. Keep my mind entertained. Change Kennedy's train of though when she says 'Mommy I wanna go home' or 'Mommy I miss our house' Its tough. I have to be strong and there for Kennedy. I have to make sure we can move on. That's what Momma does. Joe made a bad choice. But he's still Kennedy's dad. I still want the best for him because I still care. He will FOREVER be in Kennedy's life. I want him to be the very best example he can be for her. No matter what occurred between him and I, he is still her father and I want her to be happy when she's with her dad.
So as the grieving process moves on so do we. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One tear at a time and one smile at a time.
This will be our new blog. Our rebirth from the ashes and our new lives. Wish us luck cause the ride just started! YeeHaw!
I am currently grieving for the loss of my marriage and my husband.. and my life as I knew it. Yes he hit me. Yes I know its wrong. No I am not justifying it. But being hit doesn't wipe the slate clean on your heart and mind. It doesn't get rid of the emotions, the concern, the happy memories. Its a hard thing that in 5 minutes your marriage, your husband, his career and your entire way of life is dissolved. Not only now am I living at my parents house. Joe might lose his job, his career. His financial income to support Kennedy. To give her a place to live. To take her out to get ice cream. To be able to drive her places. I've lost my husband. My home. My marriage. My daily routine..
Its different grieving over something and someone who are still alive.In some sense it makes it harder. You still see the people. You still interact. You see them hurting. Its almost worse than never seeing them again. But grieving and mourning really are the only appropriate terms for it. Its a loss. Its a hard loss. No matter what state our marriage was in, how happy or unhappy it was.. to have it taken away instantly and your entire universe flipped upside down really is a death in some ways. A new beginning is born.. but a death still the same.
I have been trying to enjoy life still. Trying to do things that keep me busy. Keep my mind entertained. Change Kennedy's train of though when she says 'Mommy I wanna go home' or 'Mommy I miss our house' Its tough. I have to be strong and there for Kennedy. I have to make sure we can move on. That's what Momma does. Joe made a bad choice. But he's still Kennedy's dad. I still want the best for him because I still care. He will FOREVER be in Kennedy's life. I want him to be the very best example he can be for her. No matter what occurred between him and I, he is still her father and I want her to be happy when she's with her dad.
So as the grieving process moves on so do we. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One tear at a time and one smile at a time.
This will be our new blog. Our rebirth from the ashes and our new lives. Wish us luck cause the ride just started! YeeHaw!
5 comments:
Im so sorry, I could not imagine how hard things are for you as a wife and mother right now. I hope everything works out for the best for you, let me know if theres anything I can do.
I'm so sorry Jess. Divorce stinks. I totally understand what you are saying about the grieving process. We have dealt with it for the past year with Taylor's decision to refuse to acknowledge her dad and his side of the family. It is hard and it hurts knowing that someone you love is out there and struggling, but it sounds like you have a fantastic attitude about it and I know that you will get it through it just fine. All you can do is keep enjoying life. I love that you recognize that Joe is Kennedy's dad and that she needs him in her life and that you are willing to support that relationship. That alone shows what a wonderful woman and mom you are. {HUGS}
We are here to help you Jess and we love you
Mom and Dad
Jess, I am sorry and I know what you are feeling because I am in that same position at this very moment. I am in the process of kicking Cody out and trying to know what and how to move on. So if I can be of any comfort let me know. Because it is tough. BE STRONG BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU ARE! :)
Jess you have an amazing attitude, I'm so sorry to hear that things are really tough right now but you're right you will make it through! Keep your chin up you're a great person and Kennedy is lucky to have you for a mommy!!
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