298- Sweet peanut

I have a confession. I have a really really hard time dropping Kennedy off to school. It scares me. Its not a debilitating fear.. more like a small worry in the back of my mind from when she gets dropped off until she gets home. Every time you turn around all you hear about is more school violence or crimes against children. School shootings. Teachers being killed. Extreme bullying. Bomb threats. Attempted kidnappings. Its everywhere

I know I cant shield her from all that. She has to be allowed to fly on her own. Its out of my hands because if something is supposed to happen it will. But its always that little nagging worry. I always give her a kiss goodbye and tell her I love her. (I only get to drop her off to school 2 days a week because I work the others) and I always slightly wonder will this be the last time I drop her off to school?? I try not to rush her out the door and out of the car. She always gives me an extra hug and an extra kiss. I watch her until she is inside both doors of the school and she blows me kisses the whole way. Tells me she loves me a few hundred times and waves to me the whole way in. It cracks me up. Shes usually winking and giving me a thumbs up as she does it. I treasure these moments. Its a hard mom moment. I know she needs to grow on her own and I cant lock her into a bubble in life... although Ive thought about it. I need to let her go and learn... to take those steps on her own.. to do what shes been taught and take her lead in her life. Its a good learning time for me too. 

This morning with our extra I love you's and kisses she walked off into school. My windows side windows were still foggy from the block drive to school (dont judge me. I slept in and was in pjs still and it was cold lol!) She got out of the car and kissed her fingers and put them on my windows, said I love you mom and walked into school waving and blowing kisses and giving winks the whole way. It was such a picture perfect moment I had to. I know the real depth of this picture probably doesnt show to most but it does to me.

Her clear little fingerprints of love while shes fading away in the background headed off to school. I love it.